How To Choose A Good Wife In Islam

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad,and upon his family and companions.

When marriage is spoken of during these "modern" times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that "perfect" companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.

When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on, when he said: "O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality..."

When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.

As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us, and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advise of our own Creator, and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.

WHO TO MARRY

Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (s.a.w) said: "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery.

True, beauty and charm is hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway. In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman." Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah (s.a.w), who himself, when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed: "They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): 'Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard' "[al-Taubah: 34-35]. Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen, obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husbands property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: "the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds". Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person.

QUALITIES OF THE PIOUS WOMAN (PIOUS WIFE)

Alright, you say, you've convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Qur'an, and in the ahadith there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman.

The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities. The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities.

24:26 (Y. Ali) Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.

24:26 (Picktall) Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.

4:34 (Y. Ali) Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

4:34 (Picktall) Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High Exalted, Great.

66:5 (Y. Ali) It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you,- who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previously married or virgins.

66:5 (Picktall) It may happen that his Lord, if he divorce you, will give him in your stead wives better than you, submissive (to Allah), believing, pious, penitent, inclined to fasting, widows and maids.

And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:

-a Muslim woman (Muslim wife)

-a believing woman (believing wife)

-a devouted woman (devouted wife)

-a true woman (true wife)

-a woman (a wife) who is patient and constant

-a woman (a wife) who humbles herself

-a woman (a wife) who gives charity

-a woman (a wife) who fasts and denies herself

-a woman (a wife) who guards her chastity

-a woman (a wife0 who engages much in Allah's praise.

Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allah because of her religious qualities: "O Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down"[s.3;v.43]. Another was the wife of Pharaoh: "And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden' "[s.66;v.11].

The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab: "(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allah's Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allah, the Exalted, than her."

Ahh, you think, but you'll never find such a woman (a good wife in Islam)! Well, if that was true, Allah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn't exist, yet "if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good"[s.4;v.19]. Remember also that you are not perfect either.

KNOWING WHO SHE IS

In Surah An Nur (s24;v31), Allah asks the believing women that they should:

24:31 (Y. Ali) And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.

24:31 (Picktall) And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigor, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.

If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely converses with males- keep far, far away. I'm sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other "just good friends".

Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye-contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don't stress on her weak ones.

Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want ather, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and unIslamic), yet, my dear brother, no-one knows her heart and intentions, no-one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allah.

TRUST IN ALLAH

We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try ourselves to combine a marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.

Allah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help, and proving our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognise His infinite knowledge and wisdom.

Islam is likened to being as a house, and in my estimation nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allah.

It is related on the authority of Jabir ibn 'Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special du'a (known as an istikharah), the guidance of Allah in all matters which affected them. Rasulallah (s.a.w) said: "When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two rak'at of nafl salaat and read the following du'a (du'a of istikharah)."

I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this du'a, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn't we turn to Allah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the du'a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favourite colour is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, whether you now feel more favourable or not. Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allah, you may be blessed with a dream. Note that you must follow the results of an istikharah, because not doing so is tantamount to rejecting Allah's guidance once you've asked for it. Also, you should firstly clear your mind, not have your mind already decided, and then afterwards follow the results willingly.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allah: "I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord." Allah, the Responsive, answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognising that it is Allah who knows how successful such

a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Qur'an.

The Prophet (s.a.w) once said to Aisha: "I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to me in a silk cloth and he said: 'Here is your wife', and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: 'if this is from Allah, let Him carry it out' ".

Marriage is a serious step, and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn't that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the rearer of your children. Don't marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent.

When asking Allah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us:

"For Allah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them"[s.7;v.180].

Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say: "Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous"[al-Furqan,74].

I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allah says: "Put your trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him"[s.3;v.159].

May Allah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves.

"When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way"[al-Baqarah,v.186].

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DUTIES OF HUSBAND AND WIFE IN ISLAM

What are the wife's rights and responsibilities toward her husband, and what are the husband's rights and responsibilities toward his wife?

The rights in marriage fall into 3 categories: 1- Mutual rights between the two spouses. 2- Husband’s rights. 3- Wife’s rights. These rights translate into the following duties that the husband and wife owe to each other:

Duties that are mutual:

First Duty: To forgive each other’s small mistakes.

Second Duty: To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness

Third Duty: To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah.

(These 3 duties are implied in Allah’s statement: “Live with them in kindness.”)

Fourth Duty: To keep each other’s secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each other’s secrets around.” [Sahîh Muslim]

Fifth Duty: To pass the night with one another. Women must tend to their husband’s needs even if they don’t feel that need themselves. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, and as a consequence he goes to sleep angry, then the angels curse her until she rises.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî].

This is a mutual duty. Regarding men, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to his ascetic Companion Abû al-Dardâ’: “O Abâ al-Dardâ, you have a duty to your body, and to your Lord, and to your guest, and to your wife. Fast and break your fasts, pray, and be intimate with your wife. Give everyone their due right.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Sixth Duty: To adorn themselves in a reasonable manner. This is implied in the verse: “Be intimate with them in kindness.” And “They have as what is asked of them in kindness.”

The husband’s duties to his wife are as follows:

First Duty: To financially support his wife. This is a financial right, and includes: food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs.

Allah says: “Someone who is well off should spend from his fortune, and whoever is poor should spend from what Allah gives him.”

Islamic Law does not define this expenditure monetarily, but left it to the customary practices of society.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “Fear Allah when it comes to women, for they are helpers you took in faithfulness to Allah. You also find it permissible to enjoy their femininity lawfully with Allah’s word. You owe it to them to spend money on them for their food and clothes in kindness.” [Sahîh Muslim]

The expenditure should be within the means of the husband. He should not be asked to spend what he cannot afford.

Second Duty: To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. Allah says, regarding a newly divorced woman: “House them as you house yourselves as is available.” If this is for the divorced woman, then the wife who is under the marriage contract is worthier.

Third Duty: Assisting them in their quest for salvation by teaching them their religion and reprimanding them for disobeying Allah.

Allah says: “O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire which is fuelled by men and stones.”

Fourth Duty: To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honoring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract.

The wife’s duties to her husband are as follows:

First Duty: Obedience. A wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam’s organizing of the family structure. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: ‘Which women are the best?’ he answered: “The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks something of her, and is not disobedient in herself or her money in what he hates.” [Musnad Ahmad]

One should note that a wife’s obedience to her husband falls into one of four categories: 1- To ask her to do something this is commanded by Islam, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

2- To ask her to do something which is beneficial to him, or to refrain from doing something which is harmful to him, such as things which have to do with his food or clothes. She should obey him here unless there is a valid excuse not to.

3- To ask her to do something which falls into her personal affairs, such as asking her to give him money or forbidding her from speaking to a friend for no good reason. Here she can obey him if she wants but she does not have to. She should consider the benefit and harm of such obedience.

4- To order her to disobey Allah’s commands, and here she must disobey her husband. Second duty: Not to leave the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission.

Third duty: To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to fast while her husband is present unless he permits it, nor is it permissible for her to allow anyone into the house unless he permits it.”

Fourth duty: Not to let anyone into the house unless he permits it. This is also derived from the above-mentioned hadîth.

Fifth duty: To guard his property. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best women who have ridden camels are those of Quraysh. They are the most tender to a young child and guard what their husbands own.” [Sahîh al-Bukharî]

Sixth duty: To serve and run the house in a reasonable fashion. This does not mean physical work on the part of the woman if a woman of her standing does not generally engage in physical work. It also does not mean physical work if her health does not permit it.

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Talaaq: Divorce on the Scales of Islamic Shariah

By: Bilal Abu Aisha

Introduction

Verily, all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, the compassionate, the Merciful, Master of the Day of Judgment. And peace and blessings of Allah be upon the one sent as a mercy for all the worlds, our beloved Prophet and Messenger Muhammad, and upon his family, his companions and upon all those who follow in his footsteps till the Last Day. To proceed, if a person wishes to worship Allah truly and properly, he must submit to Allah’s commands regardless of whether those commands are related to prayers, fasting, business transactions, marriage or divorce.

When a person is not equipped with authentic Islamic knowledge or does not translate their knowledge and understanding into action, choosing their own desires and wishes over and above what Allah has prescribed for them in the Qur’an and through the noble guidance of His Prophet (s.a.w), this inevitably leads to problems in many of the affairs of a person, especially in the case of marital relationships.

Marital discord is not only exhibited by husbands, but in many cases it is exhibited by wives, especially those who have been influenced by the feminist movement or materialistic West and who fail to turn completely to the Qur’an and Sunnah to see how they should lead their lives.

The existence of such attitudes has led to a great deal of marital discord among many couples. It is unfortunate that many times, such couples do not realize that the steps that they must take to bring an end to such discord without hatred and desire for revenge, or for their marriage to return to its proper state have been stipulated in the Qur’an and Sunnah over 1400 years ago.

Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w) said: “The lawful thing which Allah hates most is divorce.” [1] This hadith goes to show that

divorce is among the legal things that are Halal but it is not good. It is Halal because sometimes the situation is so complicated that a man is compelled to divorce, when it is reasonable and there is no way out. Divorce is not good because it is a cause of enmity and also a cause of Satan’s delight. As for the commonly quoted hadith: “Marry and do not divorce for verily divorce causes the ‘arsh (throne of Allah) to shake”, this is a fabricated and da’eef (weak) narration that deserves no consideration. Before we delve into the key areas of divorce, it is worth pointing out that Divorce is a serious matter with no room for treating it lightly. Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w) said: “There are three matters in which it is not permissible to joke: marriage, divorce and emancipation (of slave).” [2]

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How to make love to your wife in Islam!

How To Make Love To Your Wife In Islam: Since sexual intercourse between husband and wife in Islam is an act of worship, it should be practiced according to the teaching of Islam. One may ask about how sexual intercourse could become an act of worship!? The answer to this question is clearly stated in the hadith of the prophet (saw) that in one's sexual intimacy with one's life partner there is sadaqa. And we all know that Sadaqa is a highly rewarded act of worship in Islam. The prophet was very explicit in the hadith reported by Muslim: "In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa." The Companions replied: "0 Messenger of Allah! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?" And he said, "Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded” (Muslim)

The hadith above only makes sense if the sexual intercourse is raised above the animal level because one’s character plays a very important role in exercising intercourse. It should be practiced within the Quranic paradigm of love, affection and mercy.

‎Allah says: And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.‎ ‎Taqi Usmani: And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.‎ (Quran: 30:21)

The Prophet (saw) said: “The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses.” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban) In another hadith of ibn Hibban: “The best of you are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you with my wives.” Ibn Hibban

When intention is made by the wife and the husband to exercise sexual intercourse, the following should be practiced: 1- wife-husband should recite the following dua before making Love/Sex “Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaana, wa jannib ash-shaitaana maa razaqtanna” “In the name of Allah, O Allah, keeps us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).” (Bukhari / Muslim)

According to the teaching of the Prophet (saw), if the above dua is recited before intercourse, and Allah decrees that the married couple will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child.(Bukharee)

2- Foreplay between the spouses

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (Allah have mercy on him) reports in his famous “Tibb al-Nabawi” that the Prophet (saw) forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay. (Al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 183, from Jabir ibn Abd Allah)

Foreplay between the spouses before actually engaging into sexual intercourse is immensely important (especially for the wife) and a vital ingredient for a happy and prosperous marriage, that which should never be neglected. The husband should sexually arouse his wife before having sex (Oral Sex). It is indeed selfish on the husband’s part that he fulfils his sexual needs and desires, whilst his wife remains unsatisfied and discontented. Failure in satisfying the wife can have terrible consequences on one’s marriage. Thats why the prophet forbade sexual intercouse without foreplay, to guarantee and to protect the sexual pleasures and rights of the wife in bed.

Islam recognizes a woman’s need of love, affection and foreplay. Women tend to be more romantic than men. They like to hear tender words, to be praised, to feel that they are being cared for, to be the main concern of their husbands and the one to whom he directs his ardent love (thats why the prophet forbade engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay). In Islam it is a women’s right to be satisfied by her husband in bed. Islam stresses the importance of mutual sexual satisfaction between marriage partners in the following Quranic verse: Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah Hath ordained for you……(Quran:2:187)

Taqi Usmani]‎ It is made lawful for you, in the nights of fasts, to have sex with your women. They are apparel for you, and you are apparel for them. Allah knows that you have been betraying yourselves, so He relented towards you and pardoned you. So now you can have sexual intimacy with them and seek what Allah has destined for you….(Quran:2:187)

A garment brings satisfaction, comfort, protection and warmness! These are the things a husband must strife to give his wife during intercourse!

Tafsir Ibn Kathir regarding sexual intercourse (penetration to the Vagina) of the Quranic verse: Quran:2:187 (They are Libas i.e., body-cover, or screen for you and you are Libas for them.) Ibn `Abbas, Mujahid, Sa`id bin Jubayr, Al-Hasan, Qatadah, As-Suddi and Muqatil bin Hayyan said that this Ayah means, "Your wives are a resort for you and you for them.'' Ar-Rabi` bin Anas said, "They are your cover and you are their cover.'' In short, the wife and the husband are intimate and have sexual intercourse with each other, and this is why they were permitted to have sexual activity during the nights of Ramadan, so that matters are made easier for them .Abu Ishaq reported that Al-Bara' bin `Azib said, "When the Companions of Allah's Messenger observed fast but would sleep before breaking their fast, they would continue fasting until the following night. Qays bin Sirmah Al-Ansari was fasting one day and was working in his land. When the time to break the fast came, he went to his wife and said, `Do you have food' She said, `No. But I could try to get you some.' His eyes then were overcome by sleep and when his wife came back, she found him asleep. She said, `Woe unto you! Did you sleep' In the middle of the next day, he lost consciousness and mentioned what had happened to the Prophet . Then, this Ayah was revealed: )

So we clearly see that the sahaba (companions of the prophet) understood that during sexual intercouse each spouse has to be a resort for the other ( by satisfying each others sexuel needs, just like a garment brings comfort and satisfaction)

3- keep away from sexual intercourse during menstruation

Quran:2:222 ﴾ ‎Abdullah Yousuf Ali]‎ They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.‎ ‎Taqi Usmani]‎ They ask you about menstruation. Say: It is an impurity. So, keep away from women during menstruation; and do not have intimacy with them until they are cleansed. But when they are cleansed, then go to them from where Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who are most repenting, and loves those who keep themselves pure.‎

The Prophet (saw)also stated: “Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training one’s horse and playing with one’s wife (foreplay and kissing) ”. (Sunan Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Ibn Majah).

(Quran:2:223) Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.‎ [ ‎Taqi Usmani]‎ Your women are tillage for you to cultivate. So, come to your tillage from where you wish, and advance something for yourselves, and fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him, and give good news to the believers.‎ [

4-The wisedom of Allah swt for using the words ‘Your wives are as a tilth unto you’(2:223):

Sex is not a thing to be ashamed of, or to be treated lightly , or to be indulged to the excess. It is as solemn a fact as any in life. It is compared to as husbandman’s tilth; it is a serious affair to him; he sows the seed in order to reap the harvest. But he chooses his own time and mode of cultivation. He does not sow out of season nor cultivate in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate and does not run riot. Coming from the simile to human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required , but above all, we must remember that even in these matters there is a spiritual aspect. We must never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to Allah.(Commentary note 249pg90 The Meaning of The Holy Qur’an, Abdullah Yusuf Ali)

Commentary of Mawlana-Abul-Ala-Mawdudi:

"The farmer sows the seed in order to reap the harvest, but he does not sow it out of season or cultivate it in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil. He is wise and considerate, and does not run riot." (Afzalur Rahman, Quranic Sciences, London 1981, p.285)

The words ‘and fear Allah (2:223) ‘ , shows how important it is in Islam for husbands to act in a proper and loving way with their wives during intercourse.

If any of you has sex with his wife let he be true to her. If he attains his pleasure before her then he shouldn't hurry her away until she also attains her pleasure." (Narrated by Anas)

Imam al-Daylami (Allah have mercy on him) records a narration on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to have said: “One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” (Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55)

5-Kissing:

Kissing one’s spouse is also of utmost importance in general. It is a Sunnah of the Prophet(saw). )Sayyida A’isha (ra)) narrates that the Prophet of Allah(saw) would kiss one of his wives and then leave for prayer (salat) without performing ablution (wudu). Urwa(ra) says that I asked A’isha: “It must have been you?” (Upon hearing this) A’isha (ra) smiled.”(Sunan al-Tirmizi no.86 Abu Dawood, no.181, Al-Nissai no.170)

Sayyida A’isha (ra) says: “The Prophet of Allah(saw) would kiss me before leaving for prayers, and he would not perform an ablution.” (Sunan al-Darqutni, 1/49 and others)

The above two narrations indicate the recommendation of kissing one’s spouse. They also show the importance of greeting the wife when entering the house with a kiss and departing with a kiss. This was the Sunnah of the beloved Prophet of Allah(saw). Thus, it is inappropriate for husbands to leave the home in a hurry without even greeting the wife in a proper manner with hugs and kisses, and then entering the house with the first question on whether the food is cooked etc.. Passionate kissing (or French kissing) is also the Sunnah of Prophet of Allah(saw).

Sayyida A’isha (ra) narrates that the Prophet of Allah(saw) would kiss her whilst he was fasting and he would suck her tongue.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2378)

6-How Husband should come to Wife

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes – from behind or from the front. About this Allah revealed the following verse:“Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will” [Al-Quran: al-Baqarah 2:223]

There are also various hadith on this subject, one of them is:

“On the authority of Jaabir (RA) who said: “The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allah revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said: “From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina”. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

The Prohibition of Sodomy

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus (anal sex). This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a “planting ground” can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:

“On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas who said: “‘Umar ibn Al- Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I am destroyed!’ The Prophet asked: ‘And what has destroyed you, O ‘Umar?’ ‘Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.’ (An expression, which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223] and the Prophet said: “From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses”. [an-Nisaa'ee in "`Ishratun-Nisaa" with hasan isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others]“

Making Wudhu’ between 2 acts with one’s wife

When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhu’, based on the statement of the Prophet (saw): “When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudu between the 2 times (In another version, the same wudhu’ which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return.” [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others].

The Bathing of Husband and Wife together

After making love, it is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:

On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (radiallahu anha) who said: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!’ She added: `We were in a state of Janaba ( i.e. the state of having slept together).’”[Al-Bukharee and Muslim].

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MIXING OF SEXES IN ISLAM

A GATEWAY TO IMMORALITY

BY MAULANA ILYAS TARAPURI(TANZANIA)

Segregation of the sexes constitutes a fundamental aspect of the Islamic idea of MODESTY and CHASTITY..In the Holy Quran the Almighty Allah commands:

(1)”Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with what they do.” (Sura 24-Nur- verse 30)

(2) “And, say to the believing women, that they should cast down their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof: that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands…! And that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And, O ye believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain bliss”.(Sura 24-Nur verse 31)

(3) “O, consorts of the prophet! Ye are not like any of the other women: if ye do fear (Allah) be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak ye a speech that is just”. (Sura 33-Ahzab-verse 32)

(4) “And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a display like that of the former times of ignorance:. (Sura 33-Ahzab-verse 33)

(5) “And recite what is rehearsed to you in your homes, of the signs of Allah and of His wisdom: For Allah understands the finest mysteries and is well acquainted (with them)”. (Sura 33-Ahzab-verse 34)

(6) “And when ye ask his (Muhammad’s sallallahu alayhi wasallam) ladies for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for their hearts”. (Sura 33-Ahzab-verse 53)

“O Prophet! Tell ye wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their persons…” (Sura 33-Ahzab- verse 59)

The above mentioned are verses quoted from the Holy Quran. We shall now proceed to enumerate what our noble Prophet (s.a.w) has said in connection with Islamic demand of PURDAH (segregation of the sexes and seclusion).

(1) Hazrat Umar (R.A) reported that the Prophet said: “whosoever dons clothing of pride in this world, Allah will cause him to wear garments of disgrace on the day of resurrection”. (MISHKAATH-Ahmad and Abu Dawood)

(2) Abu Musa (R.A) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) said: “A woman who applies perfume and goes to a gathering is like an adulteress”. (MISHKAATH-Abu Dawood and Tirmizi)

(3) Abu Usaidal Ansari (R.A) reported that once whilst the prophet (S.A.W) was coming out from the mosque he(the prophet S.A.W) saw men and women mingling in the street. The prophet (S.A.W) then ordered the women to separate from the men and walk along sides of the street (in order to avoid mingling with the men folk). (MISHKAATH- Abu Dawood and Baihaqi)

(4) Ibn Umar (R.A) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) forbade that a man should walk between two women. (MISHKAATH- Abu Dawood)

Furthermore said the noble messenger of Allah: “The best masjid for a woman is the innermost recess of her home.”

We have quoted sufficiently from the Quran and the sayings and commands of our noble Prophet (S.A.W). From these quotations every Muslim can conclude for him or herself that without the slightest shred of doubt the intermingling of men and women whether in public or private, is strictly forbidden by Islam. The Islamic demand for separation of the sexes, for modesty, for purity, for chastity and for moral decency is being nakedly abused by our persistence in this highly revolting practice of intermingling. The open transgression of the Islamic laws of PURDAH is a gross affrontation to the divine commandments of Allah.

Under the flimsy and baseless pretext of “equality of the sexes “western man has let loose the waves of sexual passion. In order to satiate its inordinate lustful cravings the western mind has invented this highly pernicious and dangerous practice of the intermingling of sexes. This practice of men and women mixing freely has only succeeded in plunging mankind in a vast conflagration of unspeakable immorality. The western press bears ample testimony to this fact.

Western parties and gatherings, dances, mixed picnics and co-educational institutions are a shocking revelation of the sexual misdemeanours perpetrated under the guise of the “equality of sexes”. In reality the western slogan of “equality of sexes “ is nothing but a carnal ruse to lure men and women into the pits of unbridled sexual desire and lust. In fact, up to this day the west has not yet given equality to its women-folk for the simple reason that they have yet been unable to understand what is meant by the equality of sexes.

For the benefit of the human race and for the healthy development of society, Islam has decreed the separation of the sexes and strictly forbidden any unlawful association between them. One of the direct causes of adultery and fornication so rampant in “modern society”, is free intermingling of the sexes. Immorality, illegitimacy and divorce cases, all result from this baneful practice.

The modern protagonists of “sex-equality” are endeavouring to mislead men and women by advancing perverted definitions of this term… “Sex- equality”. To them “sex- equality” means the gratification of inordinate carnal desires. They have no true desire for equality. How could they possibly desire the equality of the sexes when they themselves are completely unaware what is actually meant by this term. Their only aim is sexual laxity which is being preached under the garb of sexual equality. In his book, “ The future of Marriage in Western Civilisation” Dr. Westermarck says: “But even if public opinion would, in the future, grant complete sexual freedom to the unmarried of either sex, the indulgences in it by girls would still be attendant with serious disadvantages already pointed out. There would undoubtedly be exploitation of women by men; girls who remain virgins would still be preferred as wives, and the others would run the risk of being used for temporary purposes. Feminists advocating equal freedom for men and women seem to overlook the benefits that the men would derive from it: they would find it easier to gratify their desires in a more agreeable manner through intercourse with prostitutes, and at the same time to acquire sexual experience considered useful for their future marriage. When speaking of the “injustice of different moral demands on man and woman, those advocates also fail to notice that this difference is ultimately due to a difference in the sexual instincts of the two sexes”.

The only Civilization which honestly propagates true equality of the sexes is Islam. No other pattern of life, be it Westernism, Communism, Fascism, or any other “ism” has ennobled and elevated womanhood to such a high pedestal of respect and reverence as Islam. All the other systems of life have enacted a multitude of reforms and laws under the lauding banner of “EQUALITY OF WOMEN”. But, in reality, these so-called reforms were only enacted for the perpetration of sexual offences.

It is a proven fact that the promiscuous association of the sexes is one of the root causes for the many divorce cases, immodesty and unchastity so rampant in “modern society”. Immodesty and unchastity in turn have a serious effect on married life. Conjugal infidelity which the intermingling of sexes causes gives rise to one of the most destructive of human passions, i.e. jealousy. On this point, Dr. Westermarck writes:

“The jealousy of a man, particularly of a civilized man, differs from that of a male animal, apart from any feeling of injured rights- ownership or any other right. It is coloured by the nature of his love. It is accompanied with humiliation, because the loss of possession to which jealousy refers, or the failure to obtain it, is of such a nature as carries with it a lowering of man’s self-valuation. There may also be envy of what the other has obtained by depriving him of it. There may be fear of another man’s offspring being born into the family. But there is one characteristic common to sexual jealousy in all its forms, namely, that it is an angry feeling aroused by loss, or the fear of loss, of the exclusive possession of an individual who is the object of one’s sexual desire. It is impossible to suppose that the feeling of anger will ever disappear, however ugly and useless it may be. How violent… it sometimes is among ourselves is illustrated by the fact that in analyzing 188 murders committed by some persons in England, a prison commissioner recently found that the highest number, 46 were due to jealousy”.

“But even when the infidelity of a husband or wife does not give rise to the angry feeling of jealousy it causes deep sorrow; and I think it can be demanded of a spouse to consider whether he or she has the right to inflict such suffering upon the other party. Helene Stocker observes that the refined feeling of love implies instinctively an obligation to avoid, as far as possible, making the beloved person feel pain”.

Islam, in order to regulate sex and family life which are essential constituents of a healthy, stable and progressive civilization, has laid down certain restrictions which men and women must observe. Islam strongly disapproves of any social pattern which desires woman to neglect their primary and essential functions and indulge in other activities which cannot but be highly detrimental to their primary duties. The verses of the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (S.A.W) leave no doubt as to the restrictions demanded by Islam. Further sayings of the Prophet (S.A.W) in this regard are: “Do not go near women when they are alone”. Someone asked the Prophet (S.A.W): “What about the husband’s elder and younger brothers?” The Prophet (S.A.W) then said: “Intimacy with them is to be avoided as death”.

“If a person touches a woman with whom he has no legitimate relation, his hands will be burnt on the DAY OF JUDGEMENT.

In one of the verses of the holy Quran quoted elsewhere, Almighty Allah commands the wives of the Prophet (S.A.W): “…be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire…”

The indulgence in soft alluring speech is a cause of raising amorous hopes in the listener, as speech even, is an important source of sexual excitation. Van de Velde in his book, “Ideal Marriage” states:

“The tone-colour of a voice and the intonation of a single word- and it may be a word of no special meaning or association in itself- may excite incredible intensity of desire. The unique and precious significance that a woman’s voice can give to “you” or ‘thou” can suffice to overwhelm a man’s powers of endurance and control…” Islam has, hence forbidden its women to speak in a soft and sexually sweet tone.

If anyone is aware of the springs of sex-psychology he will clearly see the justification for Islam’s restriction on the free intermingling of the sexes. The Islamic teachings regarding sexual purity are saturated with wisdom and display great insight into sex-psychology.

Even a superficial examination of the teachings of Islam regarding modesty and chastity will reveal that Islam is categoric in its prohibition of the intermingling of sexes. The untrammeled freedom of immodesty following in the wake of western culture is intolerable to Islam. It is evident from the many restrictions imposed by Islam on the movement, dress, etc. of men and women that it views with disgust the joint participation of opposite sexes at social functions, etc. Yet, today Muslims have taken it upon themselves to legalized mixed parties, picnics and other social functions.

In Islam segregation of the sexes is strictly enforced even in religious worship and prayer, which are the highest duties of Muslim men and women. How simple is it then to understand, that if Islam has banned men and women mingling even in prayer, then it is unthinkable that intermingling of sexes with its accompaniment of all the agents of vice, is permitted in other matters.

Islam has therefore rightly condemned this practice of “intermingling” in order to bring about a morally healthy spiritual and social life without which a nation is bound to succumb to the dictates of the animal passion, thus relegating man to be just one other member of the family of lowly beasts.

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Wife Obedience to Husband in Islam -- Imam Hasan Khalil

The Quran is the source of all personal status laws in Islamic countries. Therefore, the rules of religious jurisprudence concerning the position and treatment of women are also based on the Quran. In order to fully understand the position of women in Islam, one must first examine the Quranic rules concerning them. Our dilemma in today’s article has to do with the Quranic command for husbands to beat their wives.

A. Man’s Supreme Authority

The Quran gives a man complete authority in marriage: “Men stand superior to women…” (Q 4.34). The Quran justifies giving this authority to the man for the following reasons:

First, preference is given to him by the nature of his physical ability: “God hath preferred some of them over others…” (Q 4.34).

Second, preference is given to him by reason of his financial ability: “and in that they expend of their wealth…” (Q 4.34).

Apparently this higher position of man does not change even if “a woman has enough money to support herself without needing him to spend money on her, or even if she has so much money that she can spend it on him.” This preference is because a man has authority over a woman according to the Quran, the ultimate source of Sharia Law, regardless of his or her economic situation.

The leading authorities of Islam state that this ruling of the Quran is an everlasting one as reported by al-Aqqad:

“It precedes the development of civilizations and general legislations and remains past them.”

B. Wife’s Relationship to Husband

In Islam, the wife is a slave to her husband. The Islamic traditions stress that a woman should obey her husband’s commands.

The story is told of a man who ordered his wife not to leave the house while he was travelling. During his absence, her father became ill, so she sent to the prophet of Islam asking for permission to go to her father. The response she received was: “Obey your husband.” Her father died, so she then requested permission to go see her father’s body before burial. Again the response was: “Obey your husband.” When her father was buried, the prophet sent her a message saying, “Allah [god] has forgiven her father because of her obedience to her husband.”

In other words, once married, the woman’s complete emotional and intellectual abilities belong to her husband.

In addition to absolute obedience, a woman should revere her husband because Islam teaches that, “If a woman knew the right of a husband, she would not sit at his lunch and supper time until he finishes.” One time, a woman came to the prophet of Islam to ask about her obligations to her husband. He said, “If he had pus from his hair part to his foot [from head to toe] and you licked him, you would not have shown him enough gratitude.”

Obedience and reverence towards her husband are two of the wife’s duties. These duties form an element of worship for her. As the prophet of Islam once said, “If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts the month of fasting, keeps her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter the paradise of her Lord.” In addition, Allah will not accept the prayer of a woman if her husband is angry with her.

It is not permissible for a woman to seek a divorce (khula) except with a legitimate reason. As it comes on the authority of the Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that he said:

“Any woman who seeks a divorce (khula) without a legitimate reason, she will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.” (Bukhaari)

And that is a very severe threat. So, it is incumbent upon the woman that she live with her husband in kindness and that she listens and obeys him in that which coincides with the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger and not to seek a divorce from her husband except with a valid excuse.

C. Husband’s Right to Punish His Wife

The Quran gives the husband the right to punish his wife if she goes outside the parameters that he draws for her. It provides men with instructions: “But those whose perverseness ye fear, admonish them and remove them into bed-chambers and beat them; but if they submit to you, then do not seek a way against them...” (Q 4.34).

In fact, in reading the verse above one will notice that these instructions were given to the husband concerning a wife whom he ONLY fears disloyalty, not a wife that actually committed a disloyal act. These instructions include the following step-by-step process:

1. Instructing

At the beginning of marriage, a husband reminds his wife about the rights that are given to him by Sharia Law. He can say to her, “Fear Allah! I have rights due to me from you. Repent from what you are doing. Know that obedience to me is one of your obligations.” If the wife refuses to fulfill the sexual desires of her husband, then he should remind her of his rights over her body.

2. Sexual Abandonment

The Arabic word used in the verse to describe abandonment (hajr) on the part of the husband can carry multiple meanings:

• Desertion If a wife remains “disobedient,” her husband should ignore her. This means he abstains from sexual intercourse with her as part of this phase of punishment.

• Forced Sexual Intercourse (“tightening the bindings”) While the word hajr is interpreted to mean “to refuse to share their beds,” the word hajr has several meanings. One of these meanings indicates the hajr of the camel when the owner binds the animal with a hijar, or rope. This disturbing interpretation means that the term used in Q 4.34 (“refuse to share their beds”) can actually mean to bind the wife and force her to have sexual intercourse.

This meaning is the adopted view of al-Tabari, a renowned classical Islamic commentator. Other scholars, who also support this interpretation, state “it means to tie them up and force them to have [sexual] intercourse.”

The Quranic principle of a man’s right to a woman’s body is not open for discussion. Regardless of her psychological or physical state, she has to obey the man’s command to lie in bed and have sexual relations with him. After all, the prophet of Islam repeatedly made statements advocating this view:

“If a man calls his woman to his bed, and she does not come, and then he goes to bed angry at her, the angels will curse her until the morning.”

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah that the prophet said, "By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more" reported by Muslim

The angles' curse will befall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not excludes those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands:

"Allah will curse those procrastinating women who, when their husbands call them to their beds, say ‘i will, i will.....' until he falls asleep." Reported by Tibraani

Marriage in Islam is intended to protect the chastity of men and women alike, therefore it is the woman's duty to respond to her husband's requests for conjugal relations. She should not give silly excuses and try to avoid it.

The prophet said "if a man calls his wife to his bed, let her respond, even if she is riding her camel (i-e very busy)." Reported by Al-Bazzar

The prophet said "if a man calls his wife, then let her come, even if she is busy at the oven". Reported by Tirmidhi

Narrated by Jaabir the prophet said "if anyone of you is attracted to a woman, let him to go his wife and have intercourse with her, for that will calm him down" reported by Muslim

D. Marital Privacy in Islam

To keep each other’s secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each other’s secrets around.” [Sahîh Muslim]

Narrated by Abdullah the prophet said, "there are three people whose prayers will not be accepted, neither their good works:

1) A disobedient slave until he returns to his masters and puts his hand in theirs

2) A woman whose husband is angry with her, until he is pleased with her again

3) And the drunkard until he becomes sober" reported by Ibn Hibban

Reported by Aisha that, "a woman came to ask the prophet about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, ‘do you have a husband?' she said ‘yes'. He asked her, ' how are you with him?' she said, 'I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.' He said, ‘pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your paradise and your hell.'" Reported by Ahmed and Nisaa'ee

The prophet said, "if a woman prays her 5 daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her; ‘enter paradise through whichever of its gates you wish'" reported by Ahmed and Tibraani

We also know that Allah does not reject supplication made by angels as they are His closest creation who are always praising and glorifying Him.

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah that the prophet said, "if a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning." Agreed upon.

This narration should be enough to make any woman pay heed to the severe warning by the prophet that the angels curses are upon those who do not respond to husbands sexual needs because the purpose of a woman is to fulfil that and for that they are made in order to produce offspring.

Beating

If the previous methods, including instruction and verbal abuse, fail to correct a wife’s behaviour, then a husband is given the right to beat his wife. Even though verse Q 4.34 does not specify the mode or limit of the beating, it is believed that the prophet of Islam put a condition on the beating, classifying it as “not excessive.” As a result, when interpreting the phrase “not excessive beating,” scholars offer the following guidelines:

• Avoid hitting the wife’s face.

• Do not break any of the wife’s bones.

• Use nonfatal implements or physical force:

• Such as the use of al-siwak (a twig of the Salvadora persica tree), or shoe laces, etc.

• and the use of hand, etc. [hitting, slapping, punching the neck and chest, etc.]

The wife may receive a beating for every behavior that incites the anger of her husband or for every act that her husband does not like. Current Islamic literature supports the legitimacy of beating and its benefit for “upbringing.”

For example, the Egyptian scholar Muhammad Mitwalli al-Sha‘rawi (AD 1911-1998), who was considered among the top Muslim thinkers in the twentieth century, records his position:

Beating is not a sign of hatred. It could be a sign of love. As long as it is not excessive, it would only cause a small amount of pain. A person might resort to lightly beating the loved one due to desiring what is in the person’s [best] interests and due to caring about the person. A woman, by her very nature, understands that, coming from her husband. She knows that his anger at her and his punishing her…will soon pass away and with its passing, its causes will pass. Therefore, they remain in their relationship as if nothing happened.

Conclusion

Ironically, Islamic literature claims that Islam as a religion has improved the position of women and is the only religious doctrine that honors women. History shows that Islam did accomplish some limited advancement in the position of women during the seventh century in certain aspects such as, limiting the number of wives to four in comparison to the practices during that era in the Arabian Peninsula. Conversely, many of the changes implemented by Islam were not positive. The Quran permits men to beat their wives, making domestic abuse a divinely permissible act rather than just an individual behavior.

It is worthy to note that in various ancient societies and throughout human history, women have lived under the oppression of social injustice. However, our dilemma, when it comes to the position of women in Islam, stems from the fact that Islam is seen as the final religion and source of law by its followers. Hence, the position of women is fixed, and rulings, such as the beating of a wife, must remain in place as specified by the Quran. Though in modern society a woman may work and share in the financial burdens of life, she will still be deprived of equality because the Quran commands it so. Overall, the Quranic rules regarding the treatment of women can still be used today as tools of oppression in the hand of the Muslim man. Any effort she exerts other than that is of no value.”

"WARNING TO WOMAN"

The warning given to women whose husband is angry with her reaches, such an extent that it would shake the conscience of every righteous wife who has faith in Allah and the last day.

She is told that her prayer and good deeds will not be accepted, until her husband is pleased with her again.

Therefore a wife's duty as a good wife is to obey her Husband with love and affection and not to leave her husband and to choose for liberty and Freedom (like she was before Marriage) and pretending that marriage life is a prison.

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